Tulips.com 2009 Bloom Map by RoozenGaarde!
Tulips.com 2009 Bloom Map by RoozenGaarde!
Tulips.com 2009 Bloom Map by RoozenGaarde!
Tulips.com 2009 Bloom Map by RoozenGaarde!

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  • by Glen on Apr 22, 2013 at 11:09:29 PM Crawling Through Previews April 2013

    Dark Horse
    The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys #1 of 6 - Gerard Way (Umbrella Academy) brings us more pretencious "rock & roll" comics. Becky Cloonan wastes her time on art. $3.99

    Sacrifice HC - A troubled youth is sent back in time to the Axtec empire. Blood-thirsty hilarity may ensue. Sam Humphries' (Our Love is Real, Uncanny X-Force) self-published series is collected. Art by Dalton Rose, Bryan Lee O'Malley, Cliff Chiang, Paul Azaceta, Emma Rios, and Pete Toms. 168 pgs. $19.99

    Trekker Omnibus - Bounty hunter Mercy St. Clair looks for bounties and herself in a retro-future. One of the main-stays of early Dark Horse in a complete collection just in time for Trekker to return in the pages of Dark Horse Presents. By Ron Randall. 328 pgs. $24.99

    Dark Horse Presents #25 - Matt Fraction writes time travel. Steve Niles and Menton3 do the Nosferatu Wars. The Chapel Chronicles by 15-year-old Emma Capps. Plus all of the regular on-going strips. 80 pgs. $7.99

    Captain Midnight #0 - The star of countless radio adventures is sucked into the Bermuda Triangle and spit out in the 21st century. Collects the shorts from Dark Horse Presents leading up to the new mini-series. By Joshua Williamson, Victor Ibanez, and Pere Perez. $2.99

    Battlepug Vol 2: This Savage Bone HC - Warrior Black Sasha rides his trusty giant battlepug into battle in search of revenge on beast mage Catwulf. Mike Norton makes the funny. 64 pgs. $14.99

    Empowered Special #4: Animal Style - See what all the satire is about in this resonably priced one-shot. Smartly written (by Adam Warren) and laciviously drawn (by John Staton). Empowered takes on animal-armored crimebots at the Superhero Auto Show. $3.99

    Breath of Bones: A Tale of the Golem #1 of 3 - A golem kills some Nazis. Written by Steve Niles (30 Days of Night) and Matt Santoro, drawn by Dave Wachter. $3.99

    Superman Unchained #1 - Superman tries to catch up with Batman's excess of titles. He enlists Jim Lee on art to try to get people to buy it. Scott Snyder writes. Bonus poster. Pull it out and increase the value of everyone elses copies. $4.99

    Batman/Superman #1 - Batman counters with top billing on their team-up book. Greg Pak and Jae Lee. No poster included. $3.99

    Larfleeze #1 - In an effort to keep up with Marvel in the Mohawk Race, DC gives Larfleeze his own book. Patrick Dougher says: "I'll check that out." To 'keep up with the Doughers', order your copy today. Keith Giffen and Scott Kolins. $2.99

    Trinity of Sin: Pandora #1 - The creepy purple voyeur from the New 52 #1 issues gets her own book written by Ray Fawkes. - $2.99

    Trinity of Sin: The Phantom Stranger #9 - The PS has to get a title upgrade to keep up with Pandora. Can Trinity of Sin: That Other Guy #1 be far off? - $2.99

    Absolute Luthor/Joker - The Luthor: Man of Steel mini-series and the Joker OGN by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo get the Absolute treatment. $99

    Camelot 3000 TP - Brian Bolland burst onto the American comics scene with this story of a ressurected King Arthur. This was also one of the early draws to the fledgling direct-market. Written by Mike Barr. 320 pgs. $19.99

    Astro City #1 - Volume #whoknows of Kurt Busiek's superhero universe arrives. Art by Brent Anderson. $3.99

    World of Warcraft: Bloodsworn HC - The best warriors of the Horde must come together and bloodswear (with their pinkies?) to protect the gentle Horde against their ruthless enemies. OGN. 152 pgs. $24.99

    100 Bullets: Brother Lono #1 of 8 - Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso do a sequel to the original series. $3.99

    The X-Files: Season 10 #1 - Mulder and Scully together again. What ever happened to that other guy? No matter what anyone wants to believe in, I don't believe that anyone will ever find proof of anything. Joe Harris and Michael Walsh. $3.99

    Godzilla: Rulers of Earth #1 - The humans are now an afterthought. The monsters rule and they get busy punching each other. Chris Mowry and Matt Frank. $3.99

    Thumbprint #1 of 3 - The spawn of Stephen King, Joe Hill, returns with the story of a woman who did horrible things at Abu Ghraib prison (thumbs up!) These things are now coming back to haunt her. Or maybe it is just something she ate last night. Or maybe its Lupus. $3.99

    Wild Blue Yonder #1 of 5 - Air Pirates! In the air! Pirating! Mike Raicht, Austin Harrison, Zach Howard. $3.99

    Lazarus #1 - Government is a quaint memory. The Families must protect their assets even if someone else owns them. Forever Carlyle protects her families' holdings even though she is dead. Greg Rucka (Gotham Central, Detective) and Michael Lark (Scene of the Crime, Gotham Central). $2.99

    Hoax Hunters: Case Files #1 - Find out what kind of hoaxes the Hoax Hunters hunt in this annual-like issue. Includes Ben Hansen. $2.99

    Outlaw Territory Vol 3 TP - 296 pages of the Old West. 35 tales of Western Oldness. Lots of comics talent you may or may not have heard of. $24.99

    Savage Wolverine #6 - Good-bye Frank Cho. Hello Zeb Wells and Joe Madureira. Spider-man (Which one?) and Elektra (isn't she dead?) join the Dwarven Canadian in a desperate search for a cure for Wolverine's lycanthropy. $3.99

    X-Factor #257: The End of X-Factor #1 of 6 - Is this the end of Peter David's X-Factor run? Is Marvel discriminating against handicapped Americans? Is the Internet any place to start scurrilous rumors? $2.99

    Thor: The Dark World #1 & 2 of 2 - Order the comic that leads directly into the upcoming movie Thor: The Dark World. Wait for it to ship long after the movie has opened in theatres. Weep at the stacks of this comic on the shelves that no one wants to buy. $2.99

    The She-Hulk Diaries - Hey all you young ladies out there. Do you think that comics are demeaning to women? Well have Marvel got a treat for you! Jennifer Walters is just a normal female personage just like you. When she is not Hulking out she just wants to go shopping. A novel by Marta Acosta with absolutely no demeaning pictures. $14.99

    Rogue Touch - Clamoring for more of the same? Well here you go. Anna Marie is a genetic freak who kills everyone she touches. For some reason the non-genetic freaks shun her. Then she meets a handsome male genetic freak and they go on the run together. Can this end in anything other than a bullet riddled sedan? A novel by Christine Woodward with absolutely no demeaning pictures. $14.99

    The Tower Chronicles: Geisthawk HC - Supernatural bounty-hunter John Tower fights poltergeists, demons, and other unfathomable evils. Watch as he does that. From comics superstars Matt Wagner and Simon Bisley. You ignored the single issues from Legendary, now ignore the collection from Marvel. 288 pgs. $34.99

    Marvel July TBA Poster - Be sure to be the first one on your block to order this stunning depiction of something by someone. $8.99

    When I say "Run", run. Run! Its The Back of Previews

    Five Color Comics #1 - Pulp style anthology with pirates, zombies, jungle girls and a giant ape. Art by Bruce Timm, Paul Pope, Steve Rude, Bill Sienkiewicz, Eduardo Risso, and David Lapham. Art of Fiction (Mort, are you reading this?). 48 pgs. $8.95

    Bubble Gun #1 - Cyber-punk, mercenary thieves from Mark Roslan and Mike Bowden and Aspen. $1

    The Extinction Parade #1 of 11 - Max Brooks (World War Z) enters an entirely new genre. Vampires vs zombies. Art by Raulo Caceres. Blood and gore by Avatar. Available in five nauseating covers. $3.99

    Ballistic #1 - Darick Robertson's next series. Described as "Transmetropolitan style sci-fi mixed with The Boys' ultraviolence and Happy's lunacy." All ad copy writers should be drawn and quartered. A wanna-be gangster and his foul-mouthed living gun get into all kinds of hi-jinks. Black Mask Comics. $3.50

    Liberator #1 - If you are a terrorist and you want to be positively portrayed in a comic book, don't be a Muslim terrorist, be an animal-rights terrorist. Black Mask Comics. $3.50

    Sergio Aragones Funnies #8 - Sergio (Mad Magazine, Groo, Sergio Aragones Funnies) Aragones returns with more Sergio Aragones Funnies. Funny stories by Sergio Aragones the most talented mustache in comics. Bongo. $3.50

    Six-Gun Gorilla #1 of 6 - The pulp character, a giant gorilla packing a pair of giant six-guns, gets his own mini-series. Written by Simon Spurrier with art by Jeff Stokely. Boom! $3.99

    Uncanny #1 - Weaver can steal other people's skills for a limited time. He has used his power for shady purposes. Now he is drawn into a game of international intrigue. Andy Diggle and Aaron Campbell. Dynamite. $3.99

    Mercy Sparx #1 - Mercy went missing when Devil's Due went down the drain. Now Devil's Due is back and they claim that Mercy is back as well. Dare you trust them? Josh Blaylock and Matt Merhoff. $3.99

    No. 6 Vol 1 - Post-apocalyptic dystopia manga by Atsuko Asano and Hinoki Kino. Kodansha. $10.99

    Atomic Robo and the Savage Sword of Dr. Dinosaur #1 of 5 - Yet another awesome Atomic Robo series. Now with more Dr. Dinosaur! Red 5 Comics. $3.50

    The Unprofessionals: A Sociopathic Bromance #1 - Jake and Leo are looking for their first big break as assassins for hire. Red Stylo Media. 50 pgs. $5.99

    Vampire Cheerleaders Must Die! Vol 1 - Manga by a couple of white guys. Seven Seas Ent. $12.99

    World War Blue Vol 1 - Video game parady manga. The Segua Kingdom vs the Ninteldo Empire. Seven Seas Ent. $11.99

    John Carpenter's Asylum #1 - Director John Carpenter (Halloween, Escape From New York, The Thing) creates another story with angels and demons and violence dark mystery. Written by Bruce Jones, art by Leonardo Manco. Storm King Productions. $3.99

    It Came! #1 of 4 - Low-budget SF cinema in comic book form. An enormous alien robot lays waste to England. A pipe-smoking space scientist and is comely assistant must put a stop to it. By writer/artist Dan Boultwood. Titan Comics. $3.99

    Screwed #1 of ? - Zenescope = female Frankenstein's monster + no screwing. $2.99

    Not Comics, Oh My!
    Joyland - Hard-boiled crime fiction set in an amusement park by Stephen King. Hard Case Crime. $12.95

    Firefly: Bunk Black T-Shirt - Jayne says, "I'll be in my bunk." Be the only person on your block to wear a masturbation reference in public. $19.99-21.99

    Gurren Lagann: Magical Nia PVC Figure - Patrick Dougher says the anime is good. Previews says you can enjoy her from any angle. 1/8 scale. $139.99

    Destroyah Evolution Action Figure Set - Three different steps in Destroyah's evolution in one package. 3" tall. S. H. Monster Arts. $89.99

    DC Universe: Superman: Unbound - Cartoon Superman vs cartoon Brainiac. Stana Katic as Lois Lane (Please, please, please give Lois a Russian accent.) DVD or Combo pack. $19.98-24.98

    Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie - You've seen the trailer. (You know you have. Don't deny it.) Now watch the movie. Terrence Stamp (The Limey), John Hurt (Alien), Sean Pertwee (John Pertwee's son). DVD or Blu-Ray. $19.98-24.99

    Appleseed XIII: Complete Series DVD - Masamune Shirow's SF epic as you have never seen it before. (All moving and stuff.) 13 episodes. Standard or Limited Edition combo pack. $64.98-69.98

    The Annoying Hipster Solicitation Award goes to:
    I Heart Brony Black T-Shirt - Proudly wear your shame on your chest. Just watch out for normal people throwing horse blood. $18.99

    The Inappropriate Solicitation Award goes to:
    To Heart2 XRated: Sasara "Shitagi Version" PVC Figure - A picture is worth several words. $84.99



    • on Apr 24, 2013 at 3:27:19 PM ThePatrick

      You are a liar Glen! You said you were going to use my name once but you used it twice! That's okay, it still made my day. Six Gun Gorilla sounds cool! And I will be checking out Larfleeze #1 and Gurren Lagann is a good anime. Those things are true, Glen did not lie about them.

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